Homeward Bound

So I start my journey to America and my eventually homecoming tomorrow. And lately I been thinking why it is hard to separate with other study abroad student, my theory is it a feeling that they are going to a separate world. Basically there is nothing really stable about the conditions surrounding a study abroad student, but we build comfort in each other. As it come time for a friend to go home, it is realized that the places you going are in literal different directions. Simply these friendship don't have the comfort of place. Thus to see friends one would have go to their place since there isn't a common meeting ground. Simply put Oita is a place, but there is no stable life there. Thus the only reason to return to Oita is to visit the people who live and work in Oita. As one could make an arbitrary date and place to reunite. Which is essentially happened...Budapest, August 2, 2014.

Schism

The closer it gets to the end the harder it gets. I am not actually sure if I can keep it together. I guess I hoping time would go slower but it's a flash and cramming this fun in two weeks is great but I guess I am starting to face the reality that I have childishly denying which this will be last with these friends, do I want to think that "no", I wanted to hold out hope, knowing that we are all connected by Japan, by Oita, the fact that we even met was a miracle. As I know everything that has a beginning has an end, but I don't want it to end. To stay in these moments forever would be great but I realized that is impossible, and the memories I made here will remain in my heart forever. That fact that I feeling so much pain is proof that I am living.

Well the emotion part is over for now, I saw Mick off to the bus station to get to the airport. I cancel my Japanese Citizen's Health insurance. I still need to give proper goodbye to people. I think canceling my bank and insurance gave me some kind of closure as those were the first two things I did when I came to Oita. I can now only understand the pain that parting international students felt. Every goodbye feels if you are losing an important member of your family, as you have bonded and grew with these people over the year and as you are feeling this pain you are also giving it to people. This is a pain I can never forget as this will not be the last time I feel it. I'll see this thing through the end, hopefully maintaining some type of composure.

Dusk

What to say...well, I have one week left, one more final and I am back in America. I haven't made any effort to clean my room or mail away boxes. I went to my last meeting for Broadcasting Club and they gave me a going away party. Well, I am having a lot of last. A lot of people are going home or have gone home which is sad. The weird thing is I am still making friends, I think I should stop talking to new people. I think I'm emotionally drained so I stopped feeling sad, and am grasping at the reality that I will return to Japan which has made me more serious in searching for more paths. I wish I had more time to play

2 Weeks...

So yesterday was the farewell party and it was somewhere between fun and heart wrenching. Hell I am going home in two weeks. None the less, it was cool to play and meet everyone. We of course had the formal party, with speeches, pictures and video (though we didn't have to dress formal, because if there would have been a fight). The place had no AC, which was a bitch as I was sweating bullets. I have to tell you about the video, so the tutors make a video, with puppets and choose my mannerism as I have easily recognizable, which led to me being asked the whole night was it me.

At the second party, I pulled out my fourth of a bottle Grey Goose which was finished. Then I started talking to people and taking pictures and Mick started making nerd jokes, from Jojo and Dragon Ball Z. I picked up girls, literally. Talk out more nerd things with some tutors, mainly DMC and Gintama. After that there was karaoke which is always great fun. Though I sung my 2nd worst song (due to lyrical content), which is メス豚交響曲 (Mesu Buta Koukyoukyoku; Female Pig Symphony) in front of girls.

I also receive my farewell card, which reading almost makes me cry. I would but a countdown to America but I am not particularly looking forward to it. One more revolution around the Sun and I should be back.

Tanabata

So today, I went to my first Japanese festival...in Japan. Well should I say...I feel no strong feeling toward festivals. This festival has been going on for three nights and I have to say, meh. The first day I didn't have the spirit go (took the JLPT before), so I hung around for maybe ten minutes and decided to get the hell out. So I decided to go today, I hung around for twenty minutes and I honestly did not see the point. Basically there was a lot of stands (mainly food) around the temple and there are more people on the street, some wearing yukata and jinbei. There is no spectular event (that I could go to), just that, I guess Japanese feel a special feeling of nostalgia or community but I don't get it, then again not a huge fan of eating or communities. On the plus side I saw a miko (shrine maiden), so not a total loss. No pictures taken because I find it unworthy. Next time I come I'll try to go to a famous shrine. There wasn't any game stalls unless you include goldfish scooping, the only game the prize is where you win responsibility.

Slight Depression

So yesterday I entered a slight depression. It not because I am leaving Japan though that would be a better reason it's because of something I should be happy about. On Saturday I party until four or five in the morning and I got home got on the computer and then went. I woke up at nine am. So I lounged around the house for a little bit, and remember I was going to take a practice Japanese Language Proficiency Test (by practice I mean 2007 actually JLPT in the comfort of my own room ) and I followed the timing. I got a 238 which is not passing. Now I did not expect to get over 200. Since the test point was to see the actually I did not expect to pass. However passing is 240, which means I logical can pass if I do one or two question better on actual test. This why I entered the depression before I took 2007 JLPT I thought I had a 20% chance of passing, which means I was able to take it easy but I figure I have a 75% chance which I think make my pass fail margin ±10 points, which means I'm too close to the edge and with one week remaining increasing that is nearly if not completely impossible. These answer are know or don't know, guessing didn't help much. If I fail the actual by the same point margin, I might actually cry.

Tick-tock

So I realize I have almost no time left...shit. So yesterday I spent all of Saturday doing an event for Cultural clubs by all day I it started at 10 and I got back to the dorm at 10. It was cool and I'll appear on a web page soon. Though I had to wear this armband with (taking video) 撮影 on it which made me feel like a fascist. The event was cool, I got to listen some music, see some interviews and take some video. I am really breaking into Broadcasting Club, I am glad I stayed with it. If I would have know the future I would have been in the Radio Group instead so I could play around in Charlotte.

Last week, I hung out with some JETs and thinking about it, I would not mind being a teacher as much as I thought. It's a steady job and help get rid of the student loans. That just a contingency plans as always. I am not looking forward to my three weeks of summer, as I will be incredibly busy with doctors and maybe getting my license..finally though I might become a paper driver. According to how much I work I should be done translating my IRP by 22nd.